A NEW YEAR

Alright so I have to say it has taken me awhile to get back in action since the holidays.

Blogging was the last thing on my mind during the last couple of months. Especially with INSTAGRAM. I find that the easiest way to keep in touch with the world these days, even if it means posting a picture of Vivian everyday!

I literally just breathed in as much of Vivian as possible. I loved all the nights singing Christmas songs to her and holding her warm body all snuggled up next to me while feeling her breath on my neck. Ahhhhhhh I could just swallow her up I fear!

Since it is mid January I decided I should jump back into blogging. Not that you all were sitting at the edge of your seats just waiting for my next post...but I am back nonetheless.

As I have spent time reflecting on 2011 I realized that 2011 was really year of the Vivian. It was the majority of my pregnancy followed by the birth and beginning of Vivian. 2011 brought some big changes our way as Aaron got a new job just 3 weeks before my due date which moved us from LA down to the OC. It is still an adjustment for me and while I love where we are living, hard to complain about being at the beach in less than 5 minutes, I have decided that I officially miss LA and plan on always missing it...it will always have such a special place in my heart. The 2 years we spent in LA were filled with trials that tested us big time and our time in LA ended with our biggest trial being completed...the birth of our Vivian.

• 2011 was also filled with some of the best memories. Nightly hang outs with Jer, food food food and more food followed by even more food, amazing Young Women whom I still talk to weekly and miss daily, a ward that was unlike any other ward I have ever been in and we have decided is unlike most wards (being in LA created a unique ward experience as you can imagine and it was a perfect example of the Gospel in action), special friends, and an overall feeling of warmth and support in a city we loved.
  
• A pause in my career came as I got ready for our bundle of love which resulted in some bittersweet goodbyes to loved colleagues and resilient kiddo clients that I continue to think about often.
• It also brought a new opportunity for Aaron in his career which we are so thankful for. He is happy in his new job with great coworkers and a great experience for him in a workplace that is supportive and understanding of the importance of families.
• New cousins to Vivian were born this year too, which makes us wonder if we will hold Vivian back one year as she gets older so we can have her and her twin cousins go to school together and be the 3 musketeers.
• There were many visits to family and from family. We are constantly thanking our Heavenly Father for the families we have been blessed with. They are both such a huge source of strength for us and I don't know how we got so lucky!
• Grandpa Murray and Grandma Wayman passed away in 2011 leaving us with 2 grandparents total left. What a treat it was for Vivian to be able to spend time with Grandma Murray and Grandpa Wayman over Christmas.

I am thankful for the opportunities a NEW YEAR brings us. I look forward to 2012 with so much joy and excitement. It will be our 10 year dating anniversary, which is absolutely bananas that it has been a decade of US. We already have many things to look forward to already i.e. trips to AZ, UT, family vaca to Newport with Murray's, the Grand Canyon with the Steenbliks, crossing our fingers for a Disney trip with Liam and George (George grow a few more inches please HURRAY so we can go again), a 1st Birthday for Viv, Cass moving to So Cal, me finishing up my licensure in CA, and yes the DIRTY 30 to finish off 2012!!! I know there will be more exciting events and I am sure there will be struggles and trials as usual, but I know with certainty that we will continue in the usual fashion and celebrate celebrate celebrate as we go about this thing called LIFE.

Merry Christmas

We did a lot of snuggling during the holidays...my Birthday was no different. My Birthday gift to myself was having Viv nap on me!!!

My boys!!! These two are amazing. Sweet, loving, creative, determined and love me and I love them. They love Vivian too. They love everyone actually!!!

While Viv is having a bit of a fat kid moment here, no doubt she is a cutie and
she and JuJuBee are buddies.

Look at these 3!!!

Viv is usually caught making this face...not a bad look.

Happy Birthday to me. Doesn't get much better than this.

Vivian did not go without attention over Christmas. These 3 just love her. Emma is the most amazing babysitter in the world. Chase is hysterical and just walks around saying baby V V. Ellie is way to grown up and I can't stand it. They are growing way too fast.

Viv finally got to meet Aunt Ashley and Ash couldn't wait to get some snuggle time in. Viv even got to nap a bit on Ash which Ashley was not complaining about one bit.

First pair of Cowboy boots from Santa.

First Christmas morning. I can't wait for more Christmas mornings like this when she wakes up and heads to the tree in her Christmas pajamas.

Christmas morning at the Steenblik's. U of U gear this year for our Steenblik xmas pjs.

On Christmas we made the rounds from Bountiful to SLC to Malad Idaho to visit Grandpa Wayman. He couldn't get enough of Vivian and just stared at her playing the whole time we were there. It was too cute.

Christmas with just us. She loved it. She kept chewing on all of her wrapped gifts and loved ripping the wrapping paper. She got her first teddy, stuffed bunny, cowboy boots, some wooden blocks, stacking cups, some books for the library, and some other treats from Santa.
It was perfection celebrating with her.

She loves her stacking cups.

Thanksgiving goodness

It's here...the most wonderful time of the year. I love once Halloween rolls around it is time for some real celebration.

This Thanksgiving was just perfect in every way. There is just something so great about being together with family in a home that is warmed up by all the good food cooking in the oven and stove top.

The boys, including Bear, taking care of the turkey

We were fortunate to have my parents drive over for the weekend and Jer came down too. We just did a lot of hanging out, chatting, staring at Vivian of course, cooking and eating. It was perfect. I did lots of prep work the days before so the actual day was not too busy. One minor mess up was one I had gotten the turkey all put together I remembered I hadn't seen the bag of giblets. I thought it was strange as I had pulled out the neck (which was still frozen) but hadn't seen the giblets. I un stuffed all the herbs and veggies from inside the bird to take a second look. I kept feeling all around checking everywhere (or so I thought). So back in went all the herbs, veggies, apple, oranges, seasoning etc. I kept saying to Aaron I swear the giblets are somewhere and we decided that they must have been with the neck (remember it was frozen still so we didn't see all the parts). So in the oven the turkey went. A few hours later our Turkey looked amazing and ready to eat. As my dad and mom wanted to work on the gravy (I know they love the giblets to help make the gravy, that is why I looked so hard for them) and no giblets to be used. When we got the turkey out to carve sure enough there they were. In the neck hole. So I guess I didn't look everywhere. Thankfully they didn't do any damage no liver tasting turkey and not burnt plastic. But man it was a close call. You would have thought I hadn't cooked a turkey before.

We are extremely grateful for our little blessing in our lives, Vivian. She fits just perfectly into our life and we continue to feel like she has been her all along. Celebrating the holidays has been so awesome with her. I have been just eating up all the chances I get to let her nap on me while we listen to Christmas music, it feels so warm and cozy. I try to take advantage of nap times and have her nap peacefull in her room, however sometimes I just like to hold her and marvel over her while she rests peacefully in my arms. The holidays seems like the perfect time to spoil her even more and just snuggle right on up to her while she naps all cozy on us. I think having her nap in my arms Thanksgiving night during dessert was what Heaven will be like...just DIVINE.

This year I am most grateful for
Vivian
Aaron
Our families
Good friends
The gospel of Jesus Christ
Good health

Growing like a weed...a good weed that is

My mom is about to die because I am growing up too fast. Lately she has been doing lots of snuggling with me before naps or before bed and I catch her smelling my head, brushing my hair with her hand over and over and sighing in contentment. I think she is loving having me around this time of year. She can barely stand that pretty soon I will be 6 months old, that's A HALF A YEAR!!! She made my 6 month check up appointment this morning and I think I caught her tear up. At my 4 month check up I was in the 95% for weight and 75% for height. I am trying to get ahead of the game as I am sure I will shorten up pretty soon...have you seen my mom and dad?

Bella and I are pretty good friends these days. Of course Bear and I are friends too, but who isn't friends with Bear. Bella is a different story though, she is picky about who she loves...afterall she is a Bichon. She lets me pet her all the time and she even gives me kisses on my toes (not a surprise if you know how much she and Bear love toes). She is even patient with me when I start to pull her hair in my hands, which she doesn't do for other kids I am told. Don't worry I know I look like a boy sometimes. My mom and dad are still not too big on the bows in my head, but I am thinking as I get older and wear more "outfits" I will start wearing them.

This is how I wake up in the morning. If I am not up yet my mom or dad comes in and starts to wake me up and the first thing I do is smile and start to babble and laugh. My mom and dad are trying to figure out how they got so lucky with a baby that doesn't wake up crying ever, but I just say don't you worry I will make up for it with some other trial at some point. So I let them enjoy my 12 hour a night sleeps followed by happy wake ups so they can have energy to face the hard times ahead whatever I decide they will be...but I assure them they will come no doubt so get ready.

I continue to be the happiest baby you have every met. I have had a few grumpy days recently as I have been battling a sniffle of sorts and will give you a hard time if you feed me and then jostle me around (my reflux does not like it that much.) I had a way cool x ray last week where you could see how bad my reflux is. The Docs continue to be impressed I am so healthy and gaining so well with how bad it is. No food aversions here, I love me some food...mom's milk that is, however a little birdie told me that I may be starting food food this week!!! My mom and dad are very thankful every day for my health.

Mom and I listen to Christmas music EVERYDAY. I laugh when she sings to me.

I love a game of Peek A Boo. It always makes me giggle when mom reappears.

I don't last too long on my tummy anymore, once you put me down I roll right on over and I think it is pretty funny and cool. Right when I get on my back I look up at mom and dad to make sure they were watching my cool trick!!!

While I have been a patient baby I am starting to get a little impatient with wanting to sit up and be upright. I have realized that sitting up is much more comfortable on my tummy, but I am not strong enough yet to do it all on my own. When my mommy took me to the beach the other day I wanted nothing to do with laying down I just wanted to be sitting up checking out the surfers and waves.

He loves her she loves him

So we did it, we made it through the 7 year itch and have made it to our 8 year wedding anniversary (on the 15th). It is pretty amazing when I think back to all that we have done, accomplished and gone through in 8 years of being married. As I was putting together all the photos we got taken at Vivian's birth and her newborn shots I couldn't help but cry with gratitude. I couldn't have married a better man. He is without a doubt my rock and my best friend. He is so tender and sweet and is the best dad. There has not been a night (ok just 1 actually when he had shingles) where he did not help out and do just as much for Vivian as I did. In the first month when she would wake a couple times a night to feed he was up with me and Viv, watching over us and helping. Every night after I feed her before bed Aaron comes in and burps her and holds her upright...I will go in and see what is taking so long and often find him just sleeping with his baby girl. Sometimes I feel like it could turn into a fight over who gets to put Viv to bed. He does it all with her which is so awesome to know when I am gone he can handle everything. I am so thankful for our equal partnership, I think it is what makes our marriage so strong.

I am so in love with my Aaron and for all that we stand for together and work towards together and mostly grateful for the family we have together.

Photo from our Honeymoon

Walking on the Mesa Temple grounds on our beautiful day

Reception in Walnut Creek (nice tans after our honeymoon!)

Here we are now the whole family (taken shortly after Vivian's birth)

Look at what a sweetheart he is, feeding me ice chips as we were waiting for baby girl

This one is a favorite as it is in between contractions and is showing how much Aaron is just praying and putting all his faith in me to get our Vivian here safely...no pressure!!!

Checking out our lil one for the first time

While we went to San Francisco a couple weeks ago to celebrate I was thinking what I would get Aaron as a gift this year. Is a gift really needed when we just welcomed the best gift you could ever receive? It's not like she was the cheapest gift in the world to get so I figure we are probably covered on gifts for awhile!!! (yes aaron I mean it if you are reading this)

1st Halloween

It's true people I had my first Halloween. Hard to believe that this time last year my mom and dad just found out about my upcoming arrival (remember the pic of my mom with her hippie butterfly on her face with the positive test?). Mom felt so much pressure to have the family dress up since it was the first time with a kiddo and after many ideas and thoughts she decided we should be a western/farmerish family with me as the cow. Funny though cause really I should have been the farmer and my mom the cow if you think about it. Nonetheless we were cute as can be and my uncle Jer Jer even came down to be with us for the party.

Back at it

You know it's good when I am waking at 5:30 a.m. to get there. Yup I am talking about crossfit. I fell in live right before I got pregnant and now that the babe is here and set on her routine I am back at it once again and it feels great.

There is something so fun about throwing bars over my head, jumping on boxes, running (ok that is not my favorite), rowing, swinging kettle bells, etc. Who said this stuff is only for guys?

If you haven't tried it yet get up and go. I promise there is a crossfit gym near you, no matter where you live.

Baby Bear's Porridge

3 months post baby and we have found our pocket, our gravy, our BABY BEAR'S PORRIDGE. We are feeling good about things these days. So much happened so fast with be stopping work, Aar getting new job, leaving LA, saying goodbye to dear friends, making new friends, new ward new place, oh and throw in there a BABY!!! It was a lot to take in and 3 months later we are in our groove and it feels great. I am cooking, cleaning, studying, serving in the church, playing, going out on my own, taking Viv with me, traveling etc.

Oh and sleeping....I keep telling myself to knock on wood because all in all Vivian is pretty amazing. I mean no doubt we would love her all the same no matter what but the fact that by 3 months she was and is sleeping 12 hours at night makes her even more of a dream.

I don't know how we got so lucky. We keep waiting for a sickness, teething, or just something to happen to rock our boat. But in the meantime we will enjoy our sleep and rest. I am sure this will all change tonight now that I am feeling it is set, but it is ok because honestly I actually miss Vivian while she sleeps that long. I have even been known to walk into her room during the night just to see her or kiss her or hold her in her sleep. I will cherish those times I spend with my babe in the night when they happen...I loved them when she was first born and will continue to love them in the future.

We are so happy to be in this pocket right now...we are just taking it all in. I think I may squeeze Vivian so hard sometimes...I have to be careful. I love her so much and she is 100% chunk. Already has almost DOUBLED her birthweight and she is not even 4 months yet!!!

I am pretty certain that a baby who is putting on weight is a healthy happy baby. Babies brains need fat to develop, their bodies need nourishment to thrive and grow. I gotta say every time I look at her chunkiness I give myself an AIR HIGH FIVE as it is all momma here giving her her LBS.



She does have reflux which we hear can me super miserable for many which results in babies screaming non stop and no sleep. Thankfully I got right on it as soon as I knew something was up. She always spit up a ton since day 1 and at 2 months all of a sudden my baby who did not cry let out the craziest scream you have ever heard. She turned bright red and just screamed, not a cry. I picked her up and within seconds she spit up the most nasty acid like stuff ever. So I waited a couple days thinking maybe it was a fluke. But it would still happen everyday at least 1x. Always happened during a nap. Of course friends would say "oh let her cry it out", "it's just her sleep cycle, you don't want to rescue her too soon." Blah Blah Blah crap. I know my baby and I knew it was something. So I called the dr and sure enough it was reflux. She had been silently refluxing for the first 2 months then all of a sudden something changed and she started to experience pain. So the doc got her on meds ASAP with the instructions to keep her upright for 30 minutes after eating. So we did just that and things got better. She was still sleeping all night but during the day it would bother her. So off dairy I went, which then turned into off wheat, soy, eggs, caffeine, chocolate plus no dairy. He switched her meds and voila!!! We are working on trying to taper her med down so we will see how it goes in the next few weeks.

She still gets uneasy when she has a burp or needs to spit up and can't get it out by herself but the scream is no longer thankfully and she is not in pain. Just some grunts.

I am so happy I trusted my instincts and that I did not fall into the trap of sticking a binky in her mouth to shut her up or letting her just cry it out. I knew something was up. I love the fact that I know my baby better than anyone or any book out there. I take pride in being good at what I do and while I do know that there will be moments when I feel like I am not doing a good job or when by kids are doing naughty things I may doubt my efforts I am enjoying that for right now I am feeling confident in my abilities to care for the lil babe that she is now. . . . . (to be continued right? my next post could just easily be the complete opposite, and I promise you when I am feeling not so great I will let you know too, cause who likes someone who feels they have it under control all the time?)

I do think what has helped us get into the pocket we are in right now is me trusting my instincts and doing what is right for us and for our baby. A mother is blessed with intuition and I am certain intuition will always beat out any theory or opinion!!!

Practicing sitting up with dad

First time to Disneyland!!!

Oh and did you hear I have 2 new cousins...that's right 2!!!
I look like I am about to stomp on them but I assure I love them and will be super nice to them. I am pretty sure we are going to be the new 3 musketeers!!! Think if mom holds me back a year we could even all go to school together and beat up all the other kids together. OK we wouldn't beat them up but we sure would be a force to be reckoned with.