Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Thoughts on Easter, 9 months and the Atonement

Overnight getaway to Palm Springs

Yes you read it right.....9 months. My baby is 9 months and I am pretty much freaking out how old she is already. It's almost been the same time with her on the outside than on the inside and I am just wanting to rewind. While of course it gets better and better I would do it all over and over again. Of course I know there are bumps on the way (she for sure has a personality and an opinion...thinking she got that from her dad right? I wish I could blame him for that!) We have many adventures just she and I and we are having a ball. I am trying to make sure we get to LA once a week and explore all our area has to offer. I have signed up for our CSA (Community supported agriculture) farm. Every two weeks we get this amazing basket full of fresh veggies and fruits. I must take a pic next week and show you, it honestly seems like a sin to even eat it, I just want to use it for a center piece (you shall see). We head to San Juan Capistrano to pick up the basket so we are trying to make sure we explore something in SJC area when we get the basket. There is so much around us, you, all of us, and I think it is super important to get out there and learn and explore. So if you are feeling in a rut DO IT, get out there and enjoy the people and places in your world. I really try and take full advantage of the situation we are in where I am home with Viv and like to think of it as a job so I like to look up places where we can learn, explore and experience together...wait a minute it is a job!!!

Zimmerman's Easter EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

We had some fun Easter festivities which included an easter party the week before (Viv's first egg hunt was a success) and then a visit to LA for Easter. It felt so great to be in LA at our old ward for Easter. You have all heard me say it before but I will say it again, there is just something about that ward and area that is so near and dear to us. So thankful it is so close and we can visit often. During sacrament we asked each other if it was just so special because we experienced that ward during a special time in our lives or is it the ward and people. We decided it is both. The feeling is crazy and I am thankful for the time we had there and the friends who have forever entered into our hearts and life and the lessons of the Gospel and love we learned.

Of course pics at the LA temple after church

Like I said Vivian is 9 months old, young, old, young, YOUNG. Let me keep saying young maybe that will make me feel better that she is growing up.

Some facts about Viv at 9 months
  • She doesn't stop, the day she figured out the crawling bit it was game over in this house. She just gos non stop. She still will look back at me to make sure I am there and to make sure I didn't miss what she found or how fast she went, but she doesn't stop!!!
  • LOVES guacamole. When I say love I mean DEVOURS it.
  • Weighs 19 1/2 lbs, I like to think of her as my little wall ball...see the fact above this one, thinking that contributes to the weight!
  • Blows spit bubbles all day and on cue (I love that she will perform that one for me)
  • Lights up when she sees dad walk in the door and just loves people, she especially loves uncle Jer Jer, no joke she responds so positively to him it is pretty adorable
  • She does not like to have to lay down to get her diaper changed. I can always count on at least 1x a day a bit of a protest...like I said not surprised as she is my daughter
  • Continues to love blankies. Bunches them up and snuggles with them with a big smile on her face (I continue to only give at naptime and bedtime as the minute she grabs the blanket the thumb goes in)
  • Her right leg is her "happy" leg, she kicks it with excitement when in car seat or stroller
  • Pats everything, us, toys, you name it...oh and loves to suck on and lick our couches and sliding glass doors...those two not so great but funny.

During Easter I was once again reminded about how amazing Easter is. I remember in past Easters feeling lonely, sad, discouraged, etc. and at times didn't really know if I felt that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ were there for me or understand/cared about my struggles with wanting a baby and not being able to have one. Yet as I look back at that time and the time that has followed I know that they were there all along. I was provided so much comfort during those difficult times and have been blessed with an amazing sense of calmness since Vivian was born. As I relied on the Gospel and my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ I was blessed with strength, resilience and the ultimate blessing of Vivian. I know that it is through the atonement of Jesus Christ that this was possible, as he took on all the pains I would ever feel and as a result was understanding and loving in return when I went through my difficult times.

I often notice how my outlook on being a mother i.e. struggles associated with it, kid issues, etc. is different than others and without a doubt I know it is different because of OUR road that we went on. While it was difficult I am incredibly thankful for how those struggles have shaped the way I mother Viv and the way I experience it all. I know there are some who will read this post and will on some level understand those pains that I went through and may be continuing to go through those struggles. To you I say "I am sorry." I pray that you can find the comfort and peace you need. While it may be difficult to really feel that Jesus Christ understands the pain you are feeling, maybe it can be of some peace to know that a friend knows (not that all experiences are the same for everyone who struggles, but similar in a way with the desire, let down, discouragement, ROLLER COASTER of emotions).

Happy Easter season to all of you. (I know Easter is over, but we can continue on with the spirit of Easter always)



  1. Kristen thank you so much for your thoughts. It was definitely an answer to my prayers today! Sometimes it's hard not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel even if it may be just right around the corner.