Thoughts on Easter, 9 months and the Atonement

Overnight getaway to Palm Springs

Yes you read it right.....9 months. My baby is 9 months and I am pretty much freaking out how old she is already. It's almost been the same time with her on the outside than on the inside and I am just wanting to rewind. While of course it gets better and better I would do it all over and over again. Of course I know there are bumps on the way (she for sure has a personality and an opinion...thinking she got that from her dad right? I wish I could blame him for that!) We have many adventures just she and I and we are having a ball. I am trying to make sure we get to LA once a week and explore all our area has to offer. I have signed up for our CSA (Community supported agriculture) farm. Every two weeks we get this amazing basket full of fresh veggies and fruits. I must take a pic next week and show you, it honestly seems like a sin to even eat it, I just want to use it for a center piece (you shall see). We head to San Juan Capistrano to pick up the basket so we are trying to make sure we explore something in SJC area when we get the basket. There is so much around us, you, all of us, and I think it is super important to get out there and learn and explore. So if you are feeling in a rut DO IT, get out there and enjoy the people and places in your world. I really try and take full advantage of the situation we are in where I am home with Viv and like to think of it as a job so I like to look up places where we can learn, explore and experience together...wait a minute it is a job!!!




Zimmerman's Easter EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

We had some fun Easter festivities which included an easter party the week before (Viv's first egg hunt was a success) and then a visit to LA for Easter. It felt so great to be in LA at our old ward for Easter. You have all heard me say it before but I will say it again, there is just something about that ward and area that is so near and dear to us. So thankful it is so close and we can visit often. During sacrament we asked each other if it was just so special because we experienced that ward during a special time in our lives or is it the ward and people. We decided it is both. The feeling is crazy and I am thankful for the time we had there and the friends who have forever entered into our hearts and life and the lessons of the Gospel and love we learned.



Of course pics at the LA temple after church

Like I said Vivian is 9 months old, young, old, young, YOUNG. Let me keep saying young maybe that will make me feel better that she is growing up.

Some facts about Viv at 9 months

• She doesn't stop, the day she figured out the crawling bit it was game over in this house. She just gos non stop. She still will look back at me to make sure I am there and to make sure I didn't miss what she found or how fast she went, but she doesn't stop!!!
• LOVES guacamole. When I say love I mean DEVOURS it.
  
• Weighs 19 1/2 lbs, I like to think of her as my little wall ball...see the fact above this one, thinking that contributes to the weight!
  
• Blows spit bubbles all day and on cue (I love that she will perform that one for me)
• Lights up when she sees dad walk in the door and just loves people, she especially loves uncle Jer Jer, no joke she responds so positively to him it is pretty adorable
• She does not like to have to lay down to get her diaper changed. I can always count on at least 1x a day a bit of a protest...like I said not surprised as she is my daughter
• Continues to love blankies. Bunches them up and snuggles with them with a big smile on her face (I continue to only give at naptime and bedtime as the minute she grabs the blanket the thumb goes in)
• Her right leg is her "happy" leg, she kicks it with excitement when in car seat or stroller
• Pats everything, us, toys, you name it...oh and loves to suck on and lick our couches and sliding glass doors...those two not so great but funny.

During Easter I was once again reminded about how amazing Easter is. I remember in past Easters feeling lonely, sad, discouraged, etc. and at times didn't really know if I felt that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ were there for me or understand/cared about my struggles with wanting a baby and not being able to have one. Yet as I look back at that time and the time that has followed I know that they were there all along. I was provided so much comfort during those difficult times and have been blessed with an amazing sense of calmness since Vivian was born. As I relied on the Gospel and my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ I was blessed with strength, resilience and the ultimate blessing of Vivian. I know that it is through the atonement of Jesus Christ that this was possible, as he took on all the pains I would ever feel and as a result was understanding and loving in return when I went through my difficult times.

I often notice how my outlook on being a mother i.e. struggles associated with it, kid issues, etc. is different than others and without a doubt I know it is different because of OUR road that we went on. While it was difficult I am incredibly thankful for how those struggles have shaped the way I mother Viv and the way I experience it all. I know there are some who will read this post and will on some level understand those pains that I went through and may be continuing to go through those struggles. To you I say "I am sorry." I pray that you can find the comfort and peace you need. While it may be difficult to really feel that Jesus Christ understands the pain you are feeling, maybe it can be of some peace to know that a friend knows (not that all experiences are the same for everyone who struggles, but similar in a way with the desire, let down, discouragement, ROLLER COASTER of emotions).

Happy Easter season to all of you. (I know Easter is over, but we can continue on with the spirit of Easter always)

xoxo

AZ

In the beginning of March Viv and I made our way to AZ once again. We are getting pretty good at this travel thing together. While we always miss dad on our mom and baby girl trips we are so thankful that we can do so many fun things together and enjoy this special time together without other distractions. This last trip was great as we timed it with George's 3rd birthday, yes that's right 3 years old that lil man is. It felt like xmas time at my parents home with all of us there, except for Aar. I can't get enough of visiting family. Vivian gets showered with attention non stop and there is no doubt that she LOVES her family. She loves cousins too and totally reacts differently to kids than adults.

Me and the George man holding hands, the best

Viv and Aunt KT playing, might as well just be me I swear we look so much alike.

Viv just being a rascal, playing, swinging, and smiling

Viv and JuJu Bee before bedtime, so sweet!!!

The other men in Vivian's life

The Birthday boy blowing out his candles

It was perfect weather, winter in PHX is just blissful, if you haven't been in the winter early spring you are missing out. We had a blast playing with cousins and Vivian loved all the attention she got. We of course missed Dad and were excited to get home to him after a week away...came home to Vivian getting croup and thankfully she is all over it now.

My main squeeze

It's true I have THE best man in the world. A few things of late that remind me of this:

• When Viv got croup this week he was right there with me, made a bed on her floor and camped out with me. Really how many daddies do that? He had work the next day just like the usual but that did not stop him from sharing the burden with me.

• I am leaving Viv with him this weekend while I go to Big Bear with the Young Women. I don't even fret one bit. When I asked him if I should take her with me he quickly responded "NO."

• Vivian goes bananas for him. When we face time while we are gone she shakes her arms and her legs and tries to pat him through the screen. Too cute.

• When I return from being out of town with Viv I come home to a perfectly cleaned home, clean dogs, laundry done, etc. I know what you are thinking right now, Can he come to my house? No he CAN'T I am not good at sharing.
  

It's always been a 50/50 partnership. I think how crazy luck I am to have found this guy and snatched him up at such a young age. How did I even know then how great I would have it. We often talk about how nuts it is that we got married so young, made the most important decision of our lives when I was 20!!!

***Don't let the absence of using a babysitter confuse you. While Aar and I don't go out much with just us 2, in fact only 3x in the last 8 months, it doesn't mean I am not crazy in love with him. I just figure after almost a decade with him all to myself now I like being all together, the 3 of us.

Half a year

Vivian
How has it been 6 months? Really a half of a year since you came to our family. I can hardly stand it...actually I can't AT ALL. Too fast, you are growing up too too fast. STOP right now, your are so darn cute right now that I don't want it to change...but I do, but I don't, as you can tell I am conflicted with this whole growing up thing.

Here are some fun facts about you at 6 months

• Venus fly trap arms and legs (you will literally hone in on something and snap you grab it with your hands and feet...it is hysterical, we can't get anything past your eyes)
• 17 lbs!!! That's my girl...putting on the weight and growing so well. (you are now 18+) The DR is always so impressed with your growth and it makes me so happy knowing you are healthy and strong
• So far eat: Carrots, Squash, Sweet Potatoes, Avacados, Mashed Potatoes, Prunes, Pears, Mangos, Applesauce and you LOVE it all.
• Mimic us saying Hi and Da Da Da Da
• A cackling laugh that makes us go crazy
• Sit up and are so proud of yourself
• Peddle your feet on my arms, pat me on my back and rub our necks when we hold you
• LOVE your blankies...Just seeing your blankies makes you so happy and you shake your arms and start smiling so big then we hand it to you and you immediately grab it and snuggle it in your face.
• Laugh at Bella and Bear and love to explore them
• Smile when I sing to you, you super love music and respond to it with so much joy
• Crawl backwards, trying to figure out the forward stuff, you try hard, but in the mean time you roll around in circles over and over and over again and end up on the other side of the room if I just let you continue to roll and roll.
  
• Sleep like a rock still 12 hours. Some days I still have to go in and wake you up and when I do you just look at me and smile so big with your sleepy eyes.
  

We are completely in love with you and think you are just fabulous. Of course everyone else around you thinks you are pretty darn great too. You love people and light up when people give you any type of attention...you know how to ham it up that's for sure. Church is the best because you go from person to person and you get so spoiled by coos and ahhs and playtime. You play hard and I love listening to you explore, giggle and babble while playing. You don't mind playing alone and are really great at it which is fun to listen and watch but you for sure light up when I come to play with you too, I love that you respond so positively to me and your dad. Your ticklish now and it is awesome. Your neck, under your arms and your bum bum are your most ticklish areas and you go bananas.

We love snuggling with you and you are a major snuggle bug. You love snuggling on our chests with your hands up at your face. Your dad is the master nighttime daddy and you guys love your time together. He gives you a bath pretty much every night and then does the burp and hold upright portion of the evening. Often I sneak on the monitor to watch him tuck you in and it is pretty darn cute to see how tender he is with you making sure you are all snug and tucked in. However, I always get nervous when it is just me because I swear he does bedtime the BEST. A week ago when dad was putting you to bed I came and gave you a kiss goodnight and you cried when I left the room. That was a first time and while it made me sad it melted my heart that you love me so much. Dad assured me though that you stopped right away and it hasn't happened again...darn it, is it crazy that I wish for you to cry for me?

Teething is in full effect!!! You chomp on everything, drool and enjoy sucking on ice in your mesh food container thingies. We are just waiting for them to sprout and while we are anxiously awaiting their arrival I know it also means that you are just growing up more and more and I hate it.

We just love you and are thrilled with who you are becoming already. We can tell you are a people person like your mom and have her love of life and have the patience and sweetness of your dad. We can't wait to see your personality blossom and explore the world with you. We often talk at night about all the places we want to take you, the activities we want to do with you and the adventures we want to take you on. We both hold off on putting you to bed because we just love spending time with you. Thankfully you don't get fussy at all when you are up way past your bedtime. You are good at going with the flow (another quality you get from your dad). You are the perfect addition to our family...our little party girl.

I met FRAN

Let's just say that I met FRAN Saturday morning and she was as nasty as everyone had told me. FRAN is a beast of a woman and I can't say that I want to ever see her again. Who or what is FRAN you may be asking. FRAN is a crossfit workout that is BRUTAL. It involves Thrusters (with a 65 lb bar you do a full sqaut then stand up and push bar over head) and Pull Ups. It is like a sprint and is meant to be super fast. No joke made my lungs burn...what I would imagine a smoker would feel like after working out. I got to the point where I was on the verge of crying from pure exhaustion and muscle fatigue. But I did it and finished and can now say I met FRAN and have experienced what they call the FRAN FLU.

Want to give it a try here is FRAN

21 THRUSTERS followed by 21 PULL UPS

15 THRUSTERS followed by 15 PULL UPS

9 THRUSTERS followed by 15 PULL UPS

If there are any girls out there who are contemplating trying CROSS FIT DO IT!!! You will not be disappointed. It is so empowering, fun, difficult, and all around a good time.

A NEW YEAR

Alright so I have to say it has taken me awhile to get back in action since the holidays.

Blogging was the last thing on my mind during the last couple of months. Especially with INSTAGRAM. I find that the easiest way to keep in touch with the world these days, even if it means posting a picture of Vivian everyday!

I literally just breathed in as much of Vivian as possible. I loved all the nights singing Christmas songs to her and holding her warm body all snuggled up next to me while feeling her breath on my neck. Ahhhhhhh I could just swallow her up I fear!

Since it is mid January I decided I should jump back into blogging. Not that you all were sitting at the edge of your seats just waiting for my next post...but I am back nonetheless.

As I have spent time reflecting on 2011 I realized that 2011 was really year of the Vivian. It was the majority of my pregnancy followed by the birth and beginning of Vivian. 2011 brought some big changes our way as Aaron got a new job just 3 weeks before my due date which moved us from LA down to the OC. It is still an adjustment for me and while I love where we are living, hard to complain about being at the beach in less than 5 minutes, I have decided that I officially miss LA and plan on always missing it...it will always have such a special place in my heart. The 2 years we spent in LA were filled with trials that tested us big time and our time in LA ended with our biggest trial being completed...the birth of our Vivian.

• 2011 was also filled with some of the best memories. Nightly hang outs with Jer, food food food and more food followed by even more food, amazing Young Women whom I still talk to weekly and miss daily, a ward that was unlike any other ward I have ever been in and we have decided is unlike most wards (being in LA created a unique ward experience as you can imagine and it was a perfect example of the Gospel in action), special friends, and an overall feeling of warmth and support in a city we loved.
  
• A pause in my career came as I got ready for our bundle of love which resulted in some bittersweet goodbyes to loved colleagues and resilient kiddo clients that I continue to think about often.
• It also brought a new opportunity for Aaron in his career which we are so thankful for. He is happy in his new job with great coworkers and a great experience for him in a workplace that is supportive and understanding of the importance of families.
• New cousins to Vivian were born this year too, which makes us wonder if we will hold Vivian back one year as she gets older so we can have her and her twin cousins go to school together and be the 3 musketeers.
• There were many visits to family and from family. We are constantly thanking our Heavenly Father for the families we have been blessed with. They are both such a huge source of strength for us and I don't know how we got so lucky!
• Grandpa Murray and Grandma Wayman passed away in 2011 leaving us with 2 grandparents total left. What a treat it was for Vivian to be able to spend time with Grandma Murray and Grandpa Wayman over Christmas.

I am thankful for the opportunities a NEW YEAR brings us. I look forward to 2012 with so much joy and excitement. It will be our 10 year dating anniversary, which is absolutely bananas that it has been a decade of US. We already have many things to look forward to already i.e. trips to AZ, UT, family vaca to Newport with Murray's, the Grand Canyon with the Steenbliks, crossing our fingers for a Disney trip with Liam and George (George grow a few more inches please HURRAY so we can go again), a 1st Birthday for Viv, Cass moving to So Cal, me finishing up my licensure in CA, and yes the DIRTY 30 to finish off 2012!!! I know there will be more exciting events and I am sure there will be struggles and trials as usual, but I know with certainty that we will continue in the usual fashion and celebrate celebrate celebrate as we go about this thing called LIFE.

Merry Christmas

We did a lot of snuggling during the holidays...my Birthday was no different. My Birthday gift to myself was having Viv nap on me!!!

My boys!!! These two are amazing. Sweet, loving, creative, determined and love me and I love them. They love Vivian too. They love everyone actually!!!

While Viv is having a bit of a fat kid moment here, no doubt she is a cutie and
she and JuJuBee are buddies.

Look at these 3!!!

Viv is usually caught making this face...not a bad look.

Happy Birthday to me. Doesn't get much better than this.

Vivian did not go without attention over Christmas. These 3 just love her. Emma is the most amazing babysitter in the world. Chase is hysterical and just walks around saying baby V V. Ellie is way to grown up and I can't stand it. They are growing way too fast.

Viv finally got to meet Aunt Ashley and Ash couldn't wait to get some snuggle time in. Viv even got to nap a bit on Ash which Ashley was not complaining about one bit.

First pair of Cowboy boots from Santa.

First Christmas morning. I can't wait for more Christmas mornings like this when she wakes up and heads to the tree in her Christmas pajamas.

Christmas morning at the Steenblik's. U of U gear this year for our Steenblik xmas pjs.

On Christmas we made the rounds from Bountiful to SLC to Malad Idaho to visit Grandpa Wayman. He couldn't get enough of Vivian and just stared at her playing the whole time we were there. It was too cute.

Christmas with just us. She loved it. She kept chewing on all of her wrapped gifts and loved ripping the wrapping paper. She got her first teddy, stuffed bunny, cowboy boots, some wooden blocks, stacking cups, some books for the library, and some other treats from Santa.
It was perfection celebrating with her.

She loves her stacking cups.