Heart to Heart

Tonight I said goodbye to my "buddy" that I mentioned in the previous post. We started our time together by doing the hard stuff, the saying goodbye part. I do a little goodbye ritual with my kiddos and to be honest I think maybe I should revise it cause it often leads to a good amount of tears and heartfelt messages (okay I know I won't change it, but it is tough sometimes). So this is how it went.

I reminded him that we were going to say goodbye tonight. I asked him how he could remember me and he said "in my heart." (I had previously talked to him how he would always be in my heart and that he could think of me in the future even though we don't see each other again and if he every was feeling sad he could just think about me and that his heart would feel better etc.)
I then taught him how we would say our goodbyes which included putting our hands on each other hearts and then sharing a message of any kind to the other while our hand is on their heart.

I went first, I put my right hand on his heart and looked into his eyes and I explained to him how he has left a handprint on my heart and how that handprint can never be taken away. I told him about how I will always remember him, how proud of him I am, and what a great little kiddo he is (he is 6). I told him how he can think of me and reminded him of what he has learned in therapy. I wished him goodluck and said goodbye.

He had tears in his eyes, me too, and then his teacher at school walked in. It was his turn and he just froze. I then asked him if he wanted to continue with our goodbye with his teacher in the room or if he wanted her to leave. He then said that he wanted her to leave because what we were doing was "special, just for us."

After she left the room it was his turn.

My little buddy then proceeded to put his hand on my heart, his cute little tiny hand, looked straight into my eyes, with glossy little brown eyes, and said "I will never forget you."

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And this is what it is about.

I could not believe it. This kid, a six year old boy, did what so many adults can't even do. He spoke the truth, from his heart, stared me straight in the eyes, dealt with some big emotions and one of the hardest things to do in life...Say goodbye. Man I couldn't be more proud, so touched and so happy. I of course have cried a handful of times tonight retelling this story and just thinking about it.

I will always remember this little buddy. His cute face, sitting on his grandma's front porch stairs playing games, his puffy spikey hair, his grumpy face, him always talking about my TOMS shoes I wear, his smile, the way he would smirk when I would catch him lying, him running up from behind me and surprising me with a hug, how he once asked me right after we met if I was a boy (I had my hair in a pony tail and was wearing a polo...note to self get ready more for work), and of course his last meaningful words he shared with me.

I needed tonight with my little buddy.